Notice Period

Soooo.. I got married.. finally it happened and nothing much has changed. Except that I had to quit my job and relocate. These past months I have been on a notice period, and some of the things I have done to occupy myself are:

1. Frantically looked for another job
2. Called up everyone I knew
3. Scrolled through my address book every 5 minutes just to do something on my phone
4. Looked at walls for 10 minutes and then 5 minutes at the ceiling.. basically to look deep in thought
5. Made 5 versions of my resume
6. Debated with myself whether I should add a pic or not
7. Checked my nails.. chewed on them a bit
8. Looked at all profiles on facebook
9. Added mutitudes on linkedin
10. Started a cookbook
11. Opened an ebay account
12. Posted articles online
13. Shopped (obviously)
14. Considered options for making money
15. Cosidered a career as a homemaker
16. Thought about my EMI and reconsidered number 15 and thought some more about number 14. Also speeded up activity on numero uno.
17. Looked up love potions and job spells on the internet (as my previous post mentions)
18. Started a new blog on food
19. Did not get bonus.. back to number 14
20. Cooked
21. Ate (as a consequence of number 19)
22. Updated randomly on facebook
23. Made this list
24. Looked at random photos
25. Thought up names for my future business
26. Painted and posted on facebook
27. Checked gmail every 30 seconds
28. Updated resume on naukri.com everyday
29. Refreshed job search every 2 minutes
30. Lazed around for hours
31. Watched TV.. flipped channels
32. Ran up a huge credit card bill (related to number 13 and led to more focus on number 1 and 14)
33. Watched fairytales on youtube
34. Invited friends for dinner
35. Finally got a job (not connected to number 32)
36. Waiting for the wait to get over

Of love potions and job spells

This friday I spent an intersting evening yakking away with a friend. Considering that she is looking for love and I for money we tested the power of google. Lo and Behold.. what an interesting collection of Love potions and Job spells. Just for the heck of it we also checked out potions that can make you lose weight (it was lemon tea).

It's amazing how so many of these spells are to do with candles and tea and moonlight. I could just imagine her brewing that potent love tea and drinking it in her balcony covered in moonlight.

We also realized getting a job is easier than finding love in the spell domain too. Spells to get a job are fairly simple.. warm up ur money with a green candle (i'm sure the spell writer was thinking in dollars, Indian money isn't green) and tie it behind ur pic.. on the other hand, to find love you have to go through gruelling rituals of more than one candle, middle of the night, some leaves, fruits, flowers, tea, papers, etc etc..

Well buddy.. I got off easy :P

A family of nutcases

I used to think i was strange.. turns out that i have been bestowed with a family of nutcases.

Mom - ever anxious, always worried, with an exceptionally short fuse and high decibel levels. Adept at forcing food down your throat and making you dress like a joker.. always right, a formidable opponent in an argument (hasn't lost one ever i think)...


Sister - the first word that comes to my mind is "Nasty".. but wait.. that's not my sister.. i was thinking about someone else.. hehe.. oops!! happens :D.. well my sis is actually quite cute.. once she stops crying.. the girl came fitted with a leaky tap.. GOD! the amount she can cry is amazzzinnng... no wonder delhi is flooding.. umm... i think she's gonna kill me when she reads this...

Dad - Let me not say anything on this one....

Cousin - Another leaky tap; I keep running short of handkerchiefs...total drama queen... and believes herself tooo... (hehe.. I am soooo DEAD.... anyway, i shall sacrifice myself to uphold the truth...), jerk magnet (BTW my sis falls in this category too), will go any lengths to look good (she is quite pretty actually), is totally emotionally blackmailable and her parents take full advantages of the fact.

Sighhh.. no wonder i have to keep it all together :P

I can already think of another list of nutty frenz that i have.. peewee... are u reading this?

Alice in wonderland

I would like to see the movie.. But as likely as not I'll end up watching it with the eye of a cynic like I do everything else.

I feel we are more prone to see what is wrong than what is right, quick to criticize and slow to appreciate, find faults than appreciate the idea...

Why do we turn this way? Where has all the wonder of our childhood gone, the trust we placed in anyone who had a kind word for us, the excitement of finding new things. Oh! the joy of finding baby mice in their nest in the attic, the heart rending cries when the adults tried to throw them out, the sneaky attempts to go find them later and replace them one by one in a shoe box.. Trying to coax them into having just a tiny drop of milk...

Or trying to wheedle 50 paise from anyone in the house on a hot summer day, running behing the kulfi waala when we got the money in the nick of time.. The breathless anxiety of catching him and then the mouth watering wait while he took out a delicious stick of kulfi.. The happy walk back home slurping on the treat of the day.

Such simple things and such great pleasure..

And now we have bank accounts full of money, we own property, cars, fancy gadgets, we don't think twice before spending a small fortune on a night of drunken dancing..

but where is the happiness?? Where is the wonderland of our childhood??

I wish I could be alice in wonderland again...

Holi aayi re...

Holi is my favorite festival... i love the color, the excitement, energy, fun, music, dance, madness, laughter, screams, food, thandaai, and the open licence to have bhaang.. the drug of the gods...

On holi no one is a stranger; u have a licence to color everyone... i love the children in the balconies with water balloons, and on the streets with the evergreen pichkaari running around with shouts of "bura na maano holi hai..." which is like an anthem of holi...

Even as you walk out of the house cautiously... looking around to see where the next water balloon or a spray of color is coming from, you cannot help smiling when the color actually hits you...

This day you have a licence to roam the streets in your dirtiest clothes.. getting them dirtier every passing minute, you can gyrate your pelvis on the streets to the tune of "rang barse bheege chunar waali...", you can mount an attack on seemingly hapless men and women, in short everything that would qualify you fit for a mental ayslum on a normal day.. is totally the in thing on Holi.. and i LOVE every minute of it...

A holi played well showes its colors for weeks... though its been a week after this holi now, my hair is still a bright pink... in the days following you can identify the fellow revellers with the color remenants still on them.... and then you grin conspiratorially at each other.. "i know what you did last holi" :D.. you have found another member of your toli to play with the next time...

Holi somehow makes you feel younger, shed all inhibitions and show your true colors... mine is pink this season... what's yours :D

Mumbai Mornings

Have u heard of the old saying.. Early yo bed and early to rise.. Makes a man healthy wealthy and wise.. Well.. Try applying it to Mumbai.. The city that never sleeps..and doesn't let you sleep either..

Yesterday evening (or according to normal standards late at night) I arrived home bone weary. All I could manage was to get some dinner staring zombie like at the television (a scottish period movie with mel gibson.. And the right to prima noctus..will get to that in some other blog maybe).

After getting some very disturbed shut eye.. I managed to wake up after an hour long effort.. Quickly getting ready I realized if I manage to get an auto I shall be actually on time to office..

And my..what happens.. Instead of the usual 20minute wait fr an auto, I get one in 5. A colleague points out that this is really turning out to be my day... I hop in happily and sit back to relax.. The fight fr the day is over..

Poor little delusional me.. Is it ever over in this city.. Turning a corner down the road next to the house I find myself in the middle of a terrific traffic jam.. And after 20 minutes I am at the same spot. There goes my train and all the hopes of reaching office on time..Now I have to cram into some already overflowing train, get others sweat on my nicely ironed clothes, get them wrinkled (almost the just-washed look) and arrive at the office looking like a mongrel..

Anyway.. Looks like the traffic is moving.. Heave a sigh of relief.. And then.. Diversion, diversion, DIVERSION.. So now my auto is wandering in hitherto unknown underbelly of mumbai.. With buffalows, n dung n wells n people bathing and what not.. I am just praying that this route ultimately leads to the station.

We finally get there.. I hop out.. Run in..and just manage to squash myself in a train. Where I am right now.. Beyond my office time.. Writing a blog which I'm sure no one will read till here..

I you are one of those who did read it.. Either bc u love me :p or bc u had nothing better to do, please answer this question in the comments: what is 2+2

I think I'm near my station nw.. So adios..

gaaaaaaaaaah

even my blog is a mess... i posted "Clutter" recently and it goes below "turning a shopaholic".. HOWWW!!!!!!!!!!

Turning a Shopaholic

Give me money, give me a day and leave me in a mall.... I love shoes, bags, clothes, colors... oh! there is soooo much to buy.

And therefore I had a great day today. It was a girls day out shopping... and obviously we tried more than we shopped, still ended up with quite a big hole in the pocket :D

Poked around in almost every shop in worli and colaba... trinkets, showpieces, stoles, scarves, bags, chappals, "insha-allah, masha-allah perfumes" (this was was awesome)...

But what it lacked was a parlour... we must have walked miles ( i hope i lost a few kgs)... but nothing in sight... sighh.,. maybe i shd thank god that it saved us some money atleast :).. (which was promptly spent on some beautiful pink and green chappals)..

All in all a great day... and i have to shop again next weekend seeing that i didn't get any of the stuff that i had actually gone out to buy...

Clutter

Sometimes i wonder what would happen if i remove all the clutter from my life. As of now, wherever i see there is some sort of a mess surrounding me.

I am not, have never been and can never be the organized kinds. Somehow clutter is what i thrive on. As long as it's a mess, i can just dig in and find what i want.. doesn't take no time.. no sir... and god save me; the day i arrange my cupboard, i can't find a thing to wear... i sort my papers, they go missing and don't even get me started on knick-knacks.

I can never fold my clothes and keep them, open my shoes at the designated place, put my socks in the shoes, keep the change back in the purse, fold the bedcovers... never... it just somehow gets postponed for later...hell.. even my desktop is messy.. lots of files all over the place, waiting to be moved to the right folders..

I have trouble throwing off old clothes and shoes, even the ones i know i'll never wear again.. i just go and dump them back home.. never to see them again, but safe in the knowledge that they are there just in case i feel like using them again (or if i ever fit into them again)...

And then there is a paradox... as chaotic as my personal belongings are, in general i like things neat and clean, spic and span... i'll arrange flowers in vases, dust off books, wipe the kitchen counter, scrub floors....then u open my cupboard.. and lo! everything falls out haphazardly...sighhh....

Garima tells me if i ever publish this blog, i'll greatly reduce my chances of getting married (which are pretty slim at this moment anyways)... but as usual i am gonna take the risk and hit "Publish post"...

here goes....

A small list of desires - what women want

• Morning chai.. made by the guy
• fluffy pillows, clean sheets and a spring matteress...
• cooking breakfast
• wet hair
• cuddle in the mornings
• friends dropping in unannounced
• chocolate
• sunlit airy rooms
• bright curtains
• flowers
• wine
• back rubs
• being carried from room to room
• fresh green leaves drenched in rain
• fresh smells
• cheese
• warm hands
• music
• candles
• a hot bath with lavender
• shopping trips
• gossip over a drink
• dirty dancing
• a cozy nook to read in
• french beards
• starlit sky
• smell of earth after it rains
• men who dance
• driving
• late night walks
• waterfalls
• waves crashing on the rocks
• sunsets by the sea
• seashells
• flowy dresses that fit just right
• slumber parties
• movies n popcorn
• hot chappatis
• stilettos
• tattoos
• ......................................

Watching the sun go down

I like rocks more than sand.. i like sunsets more than sunrises (maybe because to see a sun rise one needs to get up painfully early.. and i am not a believer in effort making :D) and for these reasons only (and i stress on ONLY) i like Mumbai bandstand.

Sitting there in the evenings, with the cool breeze and the vast expanse of the sea has a calming effect on me. I prefer sitting there alone because people have this annoying habit of trying to make conversation just when one is mulling over the questions of life (or watching a movie).

It's been a long time since i went there.. the busy schedules, traffic, money and pure laziness... I think it's time to make another trip.. like a pilgrimage.

I like the salty taste of the breeze there, and the rush of the waves, the eager enthusiasm as the waves rush to the rocks and the zest with which they crash on them only to be broken into pieces, and then come rushing again... this is soooooooooo much like what they call the circle of life.. the same thing over and over again.. with renewed enthusiasm and energy every time, the feeling that this time it'll be something different. Now i don't want to go into the karmic level of how everyone-who-is-born-has-to-die and so on.. but even at the individual level i feel that we end up running around in circles :D

Here i can also see the difference between me and the sea, the sea has so much turbulence near the shore and such calm in the center, and i have apparent calm on the surface and turbulence inside.. so maybe sitting there has a destructive interference, where the opposites cancel each other out…. Wait a minute.. what am I doing writing it here… Bandstand; here I come…

A nation of spitters

I know it's a time when everyone is talking about terrorism and recession. There is so much uncertainity in the air, you never know when you are about to lose the lifestyle you are used to, your job, or your life.

However, while everyone is busy talking about that (mind you, it affected me as badly) i want to talk about something very small that gets me buzzing with anger and frustration. It's the national sport of spitting.

Wherever you go; in any city and town; you'll see multitudes spitting away to glory; be it tobacco, "paan" (betel leaf) juice or snot (ewww...ghhh) someone at any given point in time is indulging in the activity under discussion... It forms the glorious decorations of walls in public offices specially the staircases, possibly providing immense satisfaction to its creators (hmm.. that could be the unity we keep talking about.. hundereds of people contributing to the cause of art... interesting)

Watching the ardent players gearing up for the big spit is a sight to behold...they'll pull up their trousers or fold their sleeves (a matter of personal preference), wrinkle their noses and pull air inside, then with a great noise out comes a perfectly aimed glob...digusting to the normal eye, but a creation of beauty for the "spit-champion". If this could be entered in the olympics we wouldn't need to waste so much money on training other athelets, we'll get all our medals without effort!

Spitting is omnipresent, and getting splashed at some time in your life with a few drops of the said nectar-of-the-gods is unavoidable for the common unsuspecting person. It could come at you from an innocent looking balcony while you are walking under it, it could come flying from a vehicle while you are driving along its side, it could come from a bus/ truck window while you are waiting at the traffic light. You could be lucky if you drive a 4 wheeler in which case you could see the contents of the missile dripping down your windshield while you sit safe inside if not, then god save you.

Infact the occurance is so frequent that if insurance companies insured the risk of getting splattered with spit, they would go bankrupt.

What amuses me though is a thought of a "spit battle".. if two avid spitters, fans of this sport came across each other...and one of them accidently spit on another.. would that trigger a battle of SPITS??? :D

Hail our mighty spitters!

October in Mumbai

Hot, humid, sleepy, sultry, lazy..... when will winters arrive.. if there is any such thing here....

Gonna Be a Bear

Got this in my mail a while back.. and it's SOOOOOOOOOOOO profound.. lolzzzzzzz.. Read on:

In this life, I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.

When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definately deal with that.

If you're mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, gonna be a bear

Google is playing games with me

Hey folks... my laptop is hopelessly screwed. All google applications act funny. I cannot change my orkut account settings, i cannot delete wierd friend requests, i cannot upload pictures, i cannot delete mails from gmail... and the worst.. I CANNOT RESPOND TO COMMENTS on my blog :'(

Someone help me... if it is some frigging virus again i'll just break this thing...

((RC and anonymous please let me know who you are.)

How many of us identify with this?

Main zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya
Har fikr ko dhuye mein udata chala gaya

Barbadiyon ka sog manana fizool tha
Barbadiyon ka jashn manata chala gaya

Jo mil gaya usi ko muqaddar samajh liya
Jo kho gaya main usko bhulata chala gaya

Gham aur khushi mein fark na mehsoos ho jahaan
Main dil ko uss makaam pe lata chala gaya

Lisa left. Sitting in a cubicle all alone is bugging. Thinking of putting a sign outside it now:

Wanted
Female occupant. 25-28 years of age.
Must drink, Smokers ok, must be a party animal.
Those who appreciate P.G. Wodehouse will be given preference

Hmm.. Maybe I should add that only Chinese people with British orientation (Read Lisa) need apply. I’ll miss that scatterbrain; so full of energy and enthusiasm. Hope China meets her expectations.

Still haven’t got that FIR. Popular advice: bribe that guy...

Of Robbers and Policemen

The Robbery:

On 24th of Feb I got mugged. I was happily coming home after a very satisfying shopping spree. I had bought oodles of stuff at giveaway prices and was feeling that warm glow that comes from within when a woman has shopped her fill (which is not often, mind you). So I engaged an auto to come back home and settled down for a long ride home, with thoughts of a hot cup of tea and a fashion show later on. But it was not to be.

Not even five minutes into the ride a bike came dangerously close to my auto, and a hand came in and grabbed my handbag. The snatcher pulled at the bag so hard that I was pulled along with it and rammed into the side of the auto. Still I tried to pull my bag back, but the straps broke and the thieves were off with the bag. It was like gone in 30 seconds.

Well, being a true damsel in distress (heh heh) I screamed for help, but like true unconcerned passersby no one came forward to help. My autowallah did give a heroic chase, zooming through the traffic, but what chance does an auto have of catching a bike?

The Police Station:

I was advised to go to the police station to lodge a complaint and taking the good advice I went. It was my first time in a police station and to put it mildly I was a little scared. You know all those bollywood movies do have an impact. So, in I went and I was directed to a certain desk where music was playing on a cell phone on full volume. As I tried to tell them of my plight in a voice that was continuously drowned by the beats of some telegu number, I knew it was hopeless.

The conversation went like this:
Me: Two guys on a bike snatched my bag
Policeman (P): (Silence)
Autowallah (A): (something in telegu, very excited)
P: (Something in telegu)
P (To me): When did this happen
Me: just now, 15 minutes back
P: where
A: Something in telegu
Me: Described the whole incident
P: Don’t worry madam, ye to hota hai, ab kya karein. Kal ko hi ek aurat ke bag mein se log teen lakh rupye ke jewar le gaye, aapka to bas bag gaya hai. Ab bag to milga nahi, aap compliant likha do, hum certificate de denge to duplicate documents banwa lena. Abhi ghar jao.
Me: Bag nahi milega?
P: Vo log kahin faink gaye to milega, nahi to gaya. Ab aisa chhote chhote chor ko kab tak dhoondhege? (if they throw your bag somewhere we’ll get it else gone. How long will we look for such small thieves?)

Anyways after this enlightening conversation the inspector (or whoever) on duty wrote down a small paragraph in an ancient register, describing the incident. And I was asked to come the next day and collect a copy of the FIR.

Today is 27th. No FIR yet, no bag yet, no idea about the thieves yet. Still running around trying to get everything in order. I only wonder what happens to people who are really in trouble?

hermione granger

Ah! hair woes! here goes....

Once upon a time I had silky straight dark brown hair; and then the fateful day arrived when i decided to get it permed. Translated for the not so fair sex, a perm is when a woman surrenders her hair to a beautician, to pull, jerk, smother it with a lotion that stinks to high heavens, curl it tightly and stack it up on her head (the woman's not the beautician's), then sit around flipping magazines for hours till the time the revered beauty expert finds time to wash her hair and take out the curlers (yes, in that order) and the result is happy ringlets ala the model in d'damas ad (the name eludes me).

Well getting back to the topic, i did go through the above mentioned torture and well.. ahem.. even i was a little scared by looking at the woman staring back at me from the mirror. I'll get used to it, it's ok, just the initial shock...

The thing with a perm is that as long as the hair is moist, it looks hot and sexy, with those tender ringlets framing your face. But the minute it dries.. and heavens forbid if you run a COMB through it.. my!! it's like the centerfresh ad then or more like you put your finger in an electric socket and turned on the switch just for kicks.

So was it with me; and after getting a mixed opinion (hot and happening & scary) i was getting pretty used to it. Though now and then bumping into an old acquaintance would bring out remarks like "what have you done to your hair", "it looks like a broom", "i don't know you".

Still all was fine until a month ago. That's when my perm entered its decline stage (the marketing guys will get it; PDLC). Now it's neither curly nor straight and i fully empathize with the Hermione Granger of first Harry Potter book. I wish i could get some of the potion that made her hair smooth and silky later on. The look of my hair has now been degraded from a broom-look to that of an unbrushed dog. No hair style would stay, can't tie it, can't leave it open, don't want to cut it... so the only option i have is to wait and watch and pray that this mess straightens out asap.

Moral of the story: don't mess with your hair.. even if you think you know what you are getting into.

oie.. what's happening

A long long time ago in school, i dreamt of becoming a fashion designer. If I closed my eyes I could hear the applause people gave after leggy models had paraded my clothes in a high profile fashion week. Then the fateful day came, when I had to choose amongst art, science and commerce. Any guesses?? Yup, the winner was science with PCMB (for the ignorant; its physics, chemistry, biology and math)

Later there was the logical choice between engineering and medicine (parents frowned upon fashion designing “hippy career, what-will-it-get-you, no respect”) and engineering won hands down. Not because I had any inclination towards it but cogs in my brain were calculating the time in years to get a degree. So it was 4 of engineering versus approx 10 of medicine.

Ah! Finally done with engineering now I can say goodbye to books forever, possibly burn them? Nah selling would be better. But alas, the best laid plans of mice and women (:D)…

Study more.. study more.. Bachelor’s degree isn’t enough.. what the hell.. well, one fine day it was the CAT paper. Wrote it without a clue; and later bit my nails all the way till the results came, waiting for the assault at home when they found out that I flunked.. parents have these weird expectations from their children.. I AM NOT A GENIOUS… in fact I’d like to be less than average.. just spare me the books..

But I wasn’t that lucky, the results came out and I was amongst the top 5% people who wrote that dumb test and hence had to go through the entire grind of GDs and PIs and what not… and ended up with a PGDBA course.

All is not lost, so I thought.. I can still enter marketing and enter the world of new products and brands and media and colour. So the choice remained marketing, till the time I had my summer training. I was amongst the lucky few who had to meet corporate clients, but after running around the length and breadth of Mumbai, and reaching home everyday resembling a wet dog, I changed my mind.

Hoo baby, I have to do finance… nothing to it, just a few numbers and sitting in an AC office all day. Wow!! That’ll be life. So, yours truly graduated with a degree in finance AAAAAAND (mind you) marketing.

I was picked up in the campus by a well known IT company, and here I am folks, doing something which is indefinable, it’s neither engineering, nor marketing, nor finance. I make newsletters, edit documents, design websites, compile excel sheets.

It’s just something to while away my time and get a salary every month. It’s a relaxed life, but I wouldn’t know about job satisfaction…

All I can say is.. oie!! This is what I wasted so much education on????????