That's not how I remember it

Memory is such a flippant thing. And recollection is worse. It's tough to find 2 people who remember an incident just as it happened. In fact, what actually happened, and what could be recollected by the above 2, would be 3 different things altogether. Imagine, if it were so easy to recall things, it would make the work of policemen and evidence gatherers much easier. Because then they'll be able to get matching testimonies to an event much quicker. It'll also be easier to settle disputes, transactions, return favors and what not.

But keeping the practical applications aside, this fickleness of memory lulls us in to a sense of delusion. Remember the saying "distance makes the heart grow fonder". It's precisely because of our inability to recall events exactly as they happened. The brain automatically adds frills and ribbons to the reality at each instance that we think about it. Hence, a person who is far away looks that much nicer in retrospect than he/ she did in actual presence.

This false sense of exaggeration of something that happened in the past makes us either remember it with sharp positive or negative feelings or to forget it altogether.

So, how do we know what was (or what now seems) so important to us is also equally important to other parties involved in the event? What if we remember something with fond memories and the others have totally forgotten about it? That must have happened to you at some point in time. When you share something and the other one says "That's not how i remember it!"

More importantly, who knows what actually happened... in a world where your own mind plays tricks on you!

I am woman

I just LOVE this song (by Helen Reddy)....Soooo true!

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

That little box in my heart

Sometimes sitting alone I take out a little box in my heart and wipe away the dust. It's made of carved wood and is a little chipped at the edges. The hinges are a little rusty... I don't open it often enough. Where is the time to be alone now-a-days.

As it creaks open, the contents spill out and fill my heart. I suppose the box is too small for 3 decades of memories.

There are good things and bad, things that make me laugh and some that make me cry. There are old letters, falling apart at the creases, ink fading away with time. No matter, I can still read them as if they were written today. There are pranks that we played, giggling away from the bottom of the box. There are games with long lost friends, bicycle rides through unknown lanes, there are fetes and functions, weddings and some funerals. There are tears of losing a pet and delights of a new keyboard. There are heartbreaks and heartaches, flowers and chocolates, gossips and dreams, dates and fairy tales.

It's time to close too soon :). Chores call and the box is back in its recess. But it's left me with a warm glow to tide me through the day :)

The best time to blog

For me, the best time to write is during the morning trip to office. There are so many thoughts floating around in my head, so many ideas. Just looking at the happenings around me, there is so much that i want to write about. However, as i am driving, there is nothing much i can do about it and by the time i reach office, all those ideas are lost in the thousand things that need attention. Coming back home drained in the evening is not a very happening time to try and remember those lovely things, much less write about them.

So, here i end up with a random post on when I would like to write my blogs. Mumbai was a good time for this. The train ride was such an inspiration to type away my thoughts on the phone. I wish i could do that here. Or perhaps, get a Dictaphone, or one of the voice recognition thingies that would help me just talk it out and post it :D

What an idea sirjee.. Adding another thing to my wishlist....

Meanwhile, i have been planning to write something for a while, the thoughts are there... maybe I'll just pen them in this weekend!

Travel woes

You know what I should be writing about? The awesome time I had in the recent trip to the north east. The beautiful scenery, an awesome wedding and a get together with friends and family. But no... I am going to shelve that for now and CRIB. Crib about how harrowing these past few weeks have been and the trials and travails of a working woman juggling work, family, travel, house work and a TV addict husband.

I took 12 days off work (well technically 7, but including weekends and may day - 12) all ready and set to conquer the north east... Never mind that I am motion sick and most of it was going to be a road trip. More about that in the post where I actually talk about the travel.

Anyone would think that after this break I would be all refreshed and ready to take on life's challenges with a fresh gusto. Hell no! Bone tired and desperately in need of sleep I came back to a house full of 2 weeks dust, only to realise that the maid would no longer be coming! GOD! why me?

After spending 2 days of dusting, cleaning, arranging every inch of the house and doing tons of laundry I finally collapsed on Sunday night - NOT looking forward to the next day. Can you imagine the amount of work that accumulates in just a few days? And takes a lifetime to get your head around it and clear it! After just 3 days of trying to sort the office work and juggling the house all this while (still no maid or cook mind you) I had to rush back to take another trip - this time to a village some 500Kms away from Bangalore. After a rocky ride we arrived far away from all urban luxury in a 150 year old village house (I shall not say any more on this for the fear of domestic violence). 4 gruelling days later, came back to a house flooded with rain water! (remember, I had JUST cleaned it).

Thankfully found a maid the next day who agreed to come and work with a 30% hike over the previous one. 30%, for an hours work! i don't remember when i got that much of a hike!

Anyway, so I thought it's all settled, let me concentrate on work now (while making breakfasts, lunches and dinners) and Voila... more trouble. A RAT! can you believe it! A RAT got in to my precious car (*&%$#@) and CHEWED up some spongy stuff inside the dashboard. The Honda guys are now asking 6 f***** thousand bucks to repair the damage and another 5,000 to install a mesh that'll not let the rat get in again!!! Bl**dy robbers.... shouldn't they install rodent protection meshes before they sell you the car? This is India after all - there are rodents everywhere. Stuff and nonsense! So i am shelling out this money from my non-existent funds and my dreams of replacing the sofa in my house have shattered with this one phone call.

I am starting a fund here. Those of you, moved by my story of trials and deprivations, please contribute. You can express your willingness to donate to the SOFA FUND via a comment and we'll reach out to you and grab the money before you change your mind.

Toodleoo now! Ah! i feel so much better after writing all this! Phew!