Thursday, December 11, 2008

A nation of spitters

I know it's a time when everyone is talking about terrorism and recession. There is so much uncertainity in the air, you never know when you are about to lose the lifestyle you are used to, your job, or your life.

However, while everyone is busy talking about that (mind you, it affected me as badly) i want to talk about something very small that gets me buzzing with anger and frustration. It's the national sport of spitting.

Wherever you go; in any city and town; you'll see multitudes spitting away to glory; be it tobacco, "paan" (betel leaf) juice or snot (ewww...ghhh) someone at any given point in time is indulging in the activity under discussion... It forms the glorious decorations of walls in public offices specially the staircases, possibly providing immense satisfaction to its creators (hmm.. that could be the unity we keep talking about.. hundereds of people contributing to the cause of art... interesting)

Watching the ardent players gearing up for the big spit is a sight to behold...they'll pull up their trousers or fold their sleeves (a matter of personal preference), wrinkle their noses and pull air inside, then with a great noise out comes a perfectly aimed glob...digusting to the normal eye, but a creation of beauty for the "spit-champion". If this could be entered in the olympics we wouldn't need to waste so much money on training other athelets, we'll get all our medals without effort!

Spitting is omnipresent, and getting splashed at some time in your life with a few drops of the said nectar-of-the-gods is unavoidable for the common unsuspecting person. It could come at you from an innocent looking balcony while you are walking under it, it could come flying from a vehicle while you are driving along its side, it could come from a bus/ truck window while you are waiting at the traffic light. You could be lucky if you drive a 4 wheeler in which case you could see the contents of the missile dripping down your windshield while you sit safe inside if not, then god save you.
Infact the occurance is so frequent that if insurance companies insured the risk of getting splattered with spit, they would go bankrupt.
What amuses me though is a thought of a "spit battle".. if two avid spitters, fans of this sport came across each other...and one of them accidently spit on another.. would that trigger a battle of SPITS??? :D
Hail our mighty spitters!



3 comments:

Prateek said...

Hey, y r u 'spitting' this on "indians" only.
did u forget the spitting in Titanic? i guess, everyone enjoyed it!!!

Anonymous said...

Get Away from Buses on the roads. Pull up ur jackets or windows! Sit tight! Its the best you can do to avoid being spitted upon!

Praveen said...

yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuukk!!!!