Dark December

I usually try to abstain from weepy posts.. but this couldn't be helped... call it PMS.
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Another year ends; the 30th I have seen. Was there something special about this one? What made it different from the others that went before it? Why is there no sense of achievement? Of having done something new? Why is life still stuck in the little, it-matters-not, kind of complexity that makes living so difficult?

What is it that I am looking for? Peace? Money? A hobby? Companionship? What defines happiness for me? It's really strange that I cannot answer that question after 30 years of apparently knowing myself!

Life is half done. We get but10 years to live, and I have squandered them away. If I make a list of things I wanted to do…it would have a lot of things still undone. I struggle with this sense of disappointment at how life has turned out. A sense of loss for all the wasted potential, a sense of wonderment at the stupidity of it all.

I need to question myself.. Why do I run from people who care about me? Why do I run after things that I cannot have? If things are more important to me than people, then what does it make me? Insensitive? Materialistic? Or is that what I really am?

Sometimes I feel that pretending to be something that I am not has grown so much over me that I myself no longer know who I am! Am I pretending now? Or is this the real me? And what does the real me want?

Sigh.. Maybe I am just feeling this way because it’s almost a weekend and I really really hate weekends. Nothing to do, nowhere to go and imprisoned in a room for 2 days is not my idea of a great time. I don't know where all my friends have melted away..

Life just sucks today! Maybe tomorrow is a better day!

Missing Winters

It's December in Bangalore; apparently winter is here. Not that I can feel it! This place has nothing of what December means to me. A small list for your benefit:

1. Heavy blankets


2. Layers of woolens, socks and gloves, caps and mufflers


3. Hot cups of ginger tea


4. Hot roasted peanuts, fresh off the stove, that you shelled and munched away the entire evening


5. Gajak - the sweet jaggery and sesame savory.....


6. The early morning fog, when it was impossible to see your own hands in front of your face


7. The cold wind that froze ur lips and literally formed icicles on your nose


8. The burst of freshness when you breathed in the chilled air!


9. Those mornings, sitting on the roof with a book and chasing that sunbeam around.


10. Those last rays of sun in the evening with which you desperately tried to warm your socks.


11. Going to school, on a two wheeler, singing songs with chattering teeth to drive away the cold.


12. The hot oil massages and steaming baths.


13. The dry fruits that mom stuffed in your pockets to munch away the whole day


14. Cuddling together at nights to warm each other. Pushing away some one's icy toes


15. Dancing around and cooking on the bonfires

ooh.. there are sooo many memories.... I wish i could get the taste of that winter again :)

Guess it's time to go home!

The wannabes and whatnots

Probably the last thing a blogger should write about is people with opinions, worse still, people with opinions that they foist on others. Er. helloo... YOU are writing a blog..YOU are foisting your opinion on the entire world.. well at least those who come and read your blog that is.

In any case.. I will commit this grave error and write about how I hate people who have an opinion on everything from the perfect color of one's hair to the brand of underwear one should be wearing. Also in parallel, I want to take out my ire on people who pretend to be what they are not and hence become wannabes from being someone. Lost it? well these 2 categories more or less overlap each other as you can see from the diagram below (I have learnt that diagrams make any statement 10 times more impressive and believable, so in case you were not getting the point, its true because of the diagram)

The problem with this species, henceforth referred to as "insufferables" is that either they know too much of what they want and want others to want exactly that OR they really don't know anything and just try to ape what's the latest buzz. There are people who are cool and then there are the insufferables who want to be cool.

Have I said too much? Well I will leave you to mull over this while I give you some scenarios where you find these people (Warning: THEY ARE EVERYWHERE). Someone who makes a big fuss while ordering wine in a shady establishment, people who debate about the coolest music and change their opinion as soon as the music critics do, people who debate on the right/wrong of gay rights and refuse to acknowledge the individuality of the argument, people who pretend to know more than they actually do, people who come back from ONE foreign trip with an accent, people who get the accent in 10 days of the trip and refuse to let it go after 10 years. I can possibly fill pages with these examples but I am assuming your patience is at an end.

Have you met one of these? Share your story and let's have a chuckle together :)

Things to do....

My mom always said "time runs out in a blink, so make the most of the time you have"... and like most things mom's say this one is right as well.

Maybe it was her energy and her zeal to do things that we caught our maybe it's just the time bug.. but I'm bitten for sure. Yes, I have wasted quite a few precious years, but I've always had this restlessness in me... the urge to do something.

I detest people who just sit and yap, who are happy with their day to day lives never bothering about the bigger picture. I don't want to be just another cog in the wheel. And by this, I don't mean I want to be rich and famous, or a celebrity or whatnot...I just want to learn a LOT! know about every damn thing there is to know. It bothers me that I have missed so many chances, so many things that I can never do again. And time still runs by... difficult to catch even for a moment.

I have this need to do things, and I hate it when I can't because there are other things to be done that other people want. If it were up to me.. I'd be a painter, or a writer or a designer, or a dancer or at least a linguist. And yes, I agree... it IS up to me.. the fact that I am bogged down in MY mundane daily life is my doing too.. it drives me mad to not be able to get out of the routine.. go to office come back home, go to office come back home.. I want to meet new people every day. I want to make new friends, I want to go visit places and stay where it suits me for as long as it does. Some may call it a "hippy" tendency.. I just feel I have it in my genes.. and there is nothing that I can do about it.

As I write this, time is slipping by, but at least i have put my thoughts down, at least there is something to show for this time. It bothers me that others are not conscious of this passage of time, that they waste time in minor bickering, and protocols and how things are done, or just watching TV while life is passing by.

When I say I don't just wanna be another cog in the wheel, I mean I want to give something back... in however small a way.. and I think it's never a better time to start than now!

I've had these thoughts swirling in my head for sometime.. and writing this post has probably helped me more than anyone (of course).. at least I have put a name to my priority.. i.e. to live a good life... Let's see where this takes me now :)

Bangalore - Then and Now

When I came to Bangalore (a looooonnnng time ago) it was like an oasis for someone coming from a desert (literally). I loved everything here, the weather, the roads, the lifestyle, the people, the order and yet the chaos. It was beautiful and I wanted to stay here forever... in fact i was so reluctant to leave that even after 2 years in the maximum city Mumbai.. i longed to come back to this peaceful, beautiful, paradise...

Fast forward to NOW! looks like I've got my wish and I'm stuck here for good! Imagine my plight when i came back to Bangalore to find it a mess that it is today. The weather is sure awesome still.. but they have SUMMERS now!!! when earlier the word had no meaning here.. the order has given way to chaos.. and the growing city is literally bursting at seams because the so called "planners" left no place to let some stitches out and allow the city to breathe. There is no plan to this city now... things are just mushrooming everywhere... infrastructure, utilities, rules, law and order... are all not "thought out" but a whim or fancy of some politician or the other.

There are more potholes than roads, the metro is a toy train, electricity isn't 24/7, roads are flooded in minor rains... let's not talk about the auto drivers, petrol prices and the north south divide....overall.. on a roller coaster for doom... prediction - will not be livable in another 3 years....

So my paradise has gone to hell... and I'm back here.. thank god for the people though :)

Another Exhibition Coming UP!!!

Lalten is back with another exhbition:

Venue: 2nd Floor, Sambhavnath Jain Bhavan, Opp. Mahaveer Jain College, V.V. Puram, Bangalore - 04

Date: 16th and 17th July (Saturday-Sunday)

Time: 10:30am-9:00pm

BE THERE!!

And this time i will pen down my experience in detail :)

My first business venture

My exhibition is done and over with :) and it was a great experience. As always my jinx worked and we struggled with lost parcels, last minute deliveries, all night sortings and frantic unreasonable moms...

I never knew i could sell anything. But as the day went by, I discovered the hidden sales woman in me. No competition with Aparna though.. she was awesome and my heartiest thanks to both of them for sticking around and also for Lunch ;)

Wrapping up later was the pain point. But lots of learning tucked in our belts now.. hopefully we'll do a better job next time.. so look out for THAT mailer people and be there...

Exhibition Details

Rajasthani Exhibition

Ok Folks! This is an announcement more than a blog. The marwari in me is itching to do 'binnes' (business). I'm putting up a rajasthani exhibition in Bangalore on 21st and 22nd May 2011. It'll have the traditional Bandhani (bandhej) dress materials, accessories, jewelery and of course juttis.

The tentative venue is Safina Plaza, will post a confirmation soon. But be there if you are in Bangalore :)

Culinary experiments

I wasn't always interested in cooking. Food was something that mom served and you ate... where it came from who cares.. and now; i love to cook and i love to write about it too (www.teztadka.blogspot.com).

How did it all start? I don't really know, but i do know that some extraordinary culinary experiments in the past have something to contribute to it. As i was adding posts to my recipe blog, i kept thinking about these and had to put them down somewhere. So I am sharing them here, let's see if you are brave enough to try them.

Also, before i move on to the recipes, let me state that none of these are my creations. The credit totally goes to a very dear childhood friend of mine. I hope he is still experimenting and hope to get some interesting ideas from him sometime :)

So here goes:

Cheese shake:

2 cubes of amul cheese - grated
1 glass thick milk - chilled
2 tsp sugar
ice

Put everything in a blender and churn well. Serve in tall opaque glasses (so no one can see what they are getting in to)


Icecream delight
This is a great recipe when you have 2 ice candies and 5 people to share them.

1 orange ice candy (or orange dolly will do)
1 chocobar
juice of 1 lemon
1/4 cup water

In a pan, scrape the orangebar and chocobar clear off the sticks. Heat on low flame till the ice cream melts. Add water and heat some more. Add lemon juice and serve in small glasses. Or better pour down their throats straight...


Sweet and Spicy Burger
This is an amazing recipe and is ready in a jiffy. Perfect surprise for your friends:

1 burger
1 rasgulla

When your friend isn't looking, squeeze the rasgulla over the burger patty and cover up your tracks. Go back to your meal as if nothing has happened.

I hope you will try at least one of these. If not the taste.. the memories last forever :)

Car Sale

So I'm finally buying the car that I have waited so many years for. And let me tell you that it is damn expensive. I am a living example of a modern yuppie who is up to her ears in debt and yet has a snazzy lifestyle. OK.. maybe not so snazzy... but i have the right house, right phone, right shoes, right bags and now the right car... (i specifically don't mention clothes because no woman can have the right clothes.. there's always something else that can do better)...

In any case.. I was talking about the debt and the car. So after evaluating the various financial options that I have and the possible discounts that i can manage, it turned out that I'll be wiping out my bank balance and will have to beg on the streets for petrol... Imagine! having a swanky car n not being able to drive it as there is no money for fuel!

Then obviously i was grumbling away at the sky high road taxes and expensive insurance and loan rates... when it hit me! why don't cars have sale? We have sale on everything else... personal stuff, household goods, electronics.. then y not car sales? i would love to see a 50% off sign at the Honda showroom...and it would be so affordable.. and car makers can also sell of so many units.. hah! A sale is good for everybody..Wonder why no one ever thought of it..

Anyway.. so now the idea is in the market for Honda to pick it up (pioneer it i should say) and others can follow too.. Heck! i wont even take royalties for the IP right.

Well.. what are you waiting for?

Notice Period

Soooo.. I got married.. finally it happened and nothing much has changed. Except that I had to quit my job and relocate. These past months I have been on a notice period, and some of the things I have done to occupy myself are:

1. Frantically looked for another job
2. Called up everyone I knew
3. Scrolled through my address book every 5 minutes just to do something on my phone
4. Looked at walls for 10 minutes and then 5 minutes at the ceiling.. basically to look deep in thought
5. Made 5 versions of my resume
6. Debated with myself whether I should add a pic or not
7. Checked my nails.. chewed on them a bit
8. Looked at all profiles on facebook
9. Added mutitudes on linkedin
10. Started a cookbook
11. Opened an ebay account
12. Posted articles online
13. Shopped (obviously)
14. Considered options for making money
15. Cosidered a career as a homemaker
16. Thought about my EMI and reconsidered number 15 and thought some more about number 14. Also speeded up activity on numero uno.
17. Looked up love potions and job spells on the internet (as my previous post mentions)
18. Started a new blog on food
19. Did not get bonus.. back to number 14
20. Cooked
21. Ate (as a consequence of number 19)
22. Updated randomly on facebook
23. Made this list
24. Looked at random photos
25. Thought up names for my future business
26. Painted and posted on facebook
27. Checked gmail every 30 seconds
28. Updated resume on naukri.com everyday
29. Refreshed job search every 2 minutes
30. Lazed around for hours
31. Watched TV.. flipped channels
32. Ran up a huge credit card bill (related to number 13 and led to more focus on number 1 and 14)
33. Watched fairytales on youtube
34. Invited friends for dinner
35. Finally got a job (not connected to number 32)
36. Waiting for the wait to get over

Of love potions and job spells

This friday I spent an intersting evening yakking away with a friend. Considering that she is looking for love and I for money we tested the power of google. Lo and Behold.. what an interesting collection of Love potions and Job spells. Just for the heck of it we also checked out potions that can make you lose weight (it was lemon tea).

It's amazing how so many of these spells are to do with candles and tea and moonlight. I could just imagine her brewing that potent love tea and drinking it in her balcony covered in moonlight.

We also realized getting a job is easier than finding love in the spell domain too. Spells to get a job are fairly simple.. warm up ur money with a green candle (i'm sure the spell writer was thinking in dollars, Indian money isn't green) and tie it behind ur pic.. on the other hand, to find love you have to go through gruelling rituals of more than one candle, middle of the night, some leaves, fruits, flowers, tea, papers, etc etc..

Well buddy.. I got off easy :P