The benefits you forgo when u let go of one thing for another...
"If i had only done that and not this, life would've been so different", this sentence has become a regularity in my life now. Why should i not strive for a better life, why should i not want to do things that i want to do? But somehow over the course of time my decisions have always failed me... i don't know if this is because they were never entirely my own decisions.
I also know that every person has the ability to choose for himself/herself and excuses like, "i was not allowed to do that", "i had to do it otherwise..", are totally baseless. If you make decisions based on someone else, if you obey someone else.. it was your choice to do so in the first place.
But still i regret the course my life has taken and i'm desperately ( is it too strong a word to use here?) trying to change track... and finding it very difficult. I made a choice a long time back, to live according to the wishes of people i love... maybe under the mistaken assumption that they will in turn understand what I want and act accordingly... but it was as i said, a mistaken assumption. Now i've realised that i cannot pursue this line of thinking and be happy. Now i want to live life on my own terms, which is what i should have started with anyways. The problem here is that i'm now so conditioned to subjugate my will that any attempt from my side to do what i want scares me, and on top of that brings along a guilt complex... sighhh!!!!
hmm.. now i wonder whether this monologue was about opportunity costs or sunk costs...
The End
"If i had only done that and not this, life would've been so different", this sentence has become a regularity in my life now. Why should i not strive for a better life, why should i not want to do things that i want to do? But somehow over the course of time my decisions have always failed me... i don't know if this is because they were never entirely my own decisions.
I also know that every person has the ability to choose for himself/herself and excuses like, "i was not allowed to do that", "i had to do it otherwise..", are totally baseless. If you make decisions based on someone else, if you obey someone else.. it was your choice to do so in the first place.
But still i regret the course my life has taken and i'm desperately ( is it too strong a word to use here?) trying to change track... and finding it very difficult. I made a choice a long time back, to live according to the wishes of people i love... maybe under the mistaken assumption that they will in turn understand what I want and act accordingly... but it was as i said, a mistaken assumption. Now i've realised that i cannot pursue this line of thinking and be happy. Now i want to live life on my own terms, which is what i should have started with anyways. The problem here is that i'm now so conditioned to subjugate my will that any attempt from my side to do what i want scares me, and on top of that brings along a guilt complex... sighhh!!!!
hmm.. now i wonder whether this monologue was about opportunity costs or sunk costs...
The End
3 comments:
The style of writing is beautiful. Not many people are able to express their thoughts so....I understand what ur going thru its temporary...everythings temporary in this life....
Gr8 post so far...i m a regular reader and this one has all the right words at the right place.. carry on..and thnkx for so beautifully explaining the concepts of opportunity and sunk costs,, even Ranjani mam didnt did it so beautifully...all the best for future...!!
seems that you are confusing choices with wishes. Your wishes let you be aware of opportunities present and then those opportunities force you to make choices. While you can wish to do anything you want in that imaginary untangible world of your own, your choices are very real and have tangible impacts on people around you. So even though you wish that you might have done X, the choice you make might not be the same. Hence the conflict.
That being said, tell me who has lived twice.
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